Perhaps it is presumptuous to assume there is someone out there interested in hearing from a former chef, turned medical administrator, turned wife and full time mother... having seen what others have to offer, I can surely amuse for a little while and perchance inspire, if given a chance.
Today I was hit with a realization that there is often very little need for giving advice. I was sharing with someone details of a struggle that I had and found before long that I was given advice on how I should be thinking on that issue. Essentially I was wrong about my own feelings about my life. New Mom's get this--"just wait till..." or "you don't know this now, but you will learn that..." or my personal favorite which cuts right to the issue: "this is what you should do..." I have caught myself doing this, and now I try earnestly to avoid it... Only the seasoned professionals among us can handle this well--the rest of us just try to listen gracefully and then walk away.
This whole way of being is just generally unhelpful. When I tried on my wedding dress for the first time for my Mother, Grandmother and Aunt, two of the three ladies were moved by the experience, and my Grandmother promptly said: "you won't be eating much between now and the wedding--it is awful tight, isn't it?" A struggle I have always battled is weight, and just one comment on the issue can make me tumble from all the healing I have received to the foot of the original accusation in a second. You just aren't good enough as you are.
Whether we see results of something another person is trying to achieve or not, we have the power of (giving) life and (giving) death in our very words. Thoughts that lift a person up, and not lead them to suppose they really are the great failure that they may sense inside. I believe that there really is something positive to say in any given situation, if you will look for it. And still be truthful. "Wow, you look so happy! You will make a beautiful bride, and imagine how wonderful your future will be!" There, that's a good start. Affirm what you see in others that they could become the best they can be. ☺
